swagdaddynightmare.avax🐔 🐷 🔺️

Sad story of the day. When I was 18 and actively using, my grandfather was sick with cancer. During my teen years I would steal his oxy and sell them to friends and use them everyday. When he figured it out, he stopped speaking to me. I spiraled to near death everyday. He passed away, and I never got to say goodbye or tell him what he meant to me. I think about this everyday. Sadness.

Safe space to share your sadness. Buy when youre sad, sell when youre happy.

Lately the energy to handle what life is throwing my way is fleeting. There have been friends who remind me "You stopped using dope, and you always snap back no matter how bad shit got." The sadness doesn't bring me close to relapse. Honestly that never crosses my mind and I feel pretty lucky. The feeling of just giving up is worrying, perhaps it just is not in me anymore. My last relationship ended drastically. It now resides in that strange place where we talk and act like friends and share a strong love of her daughter. The daughter I spent a year or so helping with bathtime, bedtime, learning moments, and meal prepping. A daughter I loved and still love as if she was my own. That relationship left me broken in new ways, losing two loves which I believed were going to be forever. &SAD

For anyone who feels sad as fuck sometimes but somehow keeps going