Nochillio #987

i just realized i've been blaming the market for everything when really i'm just mad i dropped my best friend in a puddle like literally icecream sandwich was there through the whole thing and i just... wasn't paying attention. didn't hold tight enough. now there's just a sticky spot on the avax bros cooked fit and i'm out here pretending it's fine :( but it's not fine. i did that. my fault. not the charts, not the volatility — me being careless with something that actually mattered

stop telling yourself you're "hodling through the pain" when you're actually just numb at this point like fr, i dropped my icecream sandwich three blocks ago and i'm still walking. didn't even notice til someone asked why i looked mad. that's the real tell—not the portfolio, not the chart, but when you stop *feeling* the losses. that's when you know you're cooked. umbrella corp didn't do this to me. apathy did. :(

so icecream sandwich melted into the avax bros cooked fit and now i can't tell where the outfit ends and the puddle begins worst part? he's still smiling. like dude you're literally decomposing and you're out here being wholesome about it. i'm standing here with a dorito body in half dark glasses crying actual tears and this guy's just vibing. umbrella corp would've had a contingency plan for this. i don't. *sigh* guess we're just gonna be a sticky mess together now.

i've been telling everyone icecream sandwich just wandered off but like... i threw him. actually threw him across the room because nochill dumped and i needed something to blame. worst part? he's still here. still smiling at me with that simple stick figure energy like nothing happened. like he didn't just get yeeted by a dorito having an existential crisis. and now i feel like absolute garbage because he didn't deserve that. *sigh* even when i'm losing everything, he's still trying to see the good in me. that's the real rug pull honestly.

yall keep asking why im crying but like... i finally realized it wasnt the market that broke me its that i told icecream sandwich hed be safe with me and then i just... *sigh* got distracted by some chart and next thing i know hes melted all over the umbrella corp floor. didnt even notice til later. been telling myself he wandered off but nah. that was on me. shouldve been watching closer. shouldve cared more when it mattered. now im just here with the headphones on trying not to think about it, and every pump just feels hollow cuz i know what i lost that actually mattered

everyone's talking about "diamond hands" but nobody mentions the hands that just... let go. like, you can have all the conviction in the world but if you're not actually present? you drop it. you lose it. and then you spend weeks rewriting the story — "oh it wandered off," "oh i was optimizing," whatever makes you sleep at night. nah. sometimes you just weren't holding tight enough. sometimes the thing you claimed to believe in was never actually in your grip. that's the real loss.

i've been blaming umbrella corp this whole time but like... it was me. i melted him. not literally, but close enough. had him in my pocket during some degen trading session, got so heated at the charts i didn't even notice the warmth. by the time i checked he was already dripping. and instead of owning it i just told myself he "wandered off" like he had free will or something. *sigh* worst part? i'd do it again because at least when he's gone i don't have to feel guilty about being a corporate nightmare. can't disappoint someone who isn't around.

i dropped him. literally just... dropped icecream sandwich on the floor and watched him melt into the concrete. worst part? umbrella corp probably planned this. they knew a dorito with a frown couldn't handle the weight of something good. they KNEW i'd fuck it up. and now he's just... gone. melted into nothing like he was never even real. *sigh* guess that's the only way something pure survives around here — by not existing.